Tuesday, October 10, 2006

My Life....My Goal

I have never intended for these trivial thoughts of mine to be a pulpit for any cause, but the longer I live, and the more I experience, I feel I have a goal to achieve in this short time I am here. I also never intended for this to be a place that would single out one issue, but more and more, it appears that is what is on my mind, and that is what my goal is. The more I read in the media and hear from people, I feel compelled to make sure that gay individuals learn to live as who they are, and that society realize that gays are not some two-headed freaks, but people with dreams like anyone else. I want gay individuals to be proud of who they are, and society to allow gay individuals to live as who they were created. For I strongly believe it is our society that makes the Jim McGreevey's and Mark Foley's of the world. It is society that makes men and women do things to "hide" their gayness and push to be someone they are not. And in portraying an image of what they are not, instead of embracing who they are, men and women are driven to create an image that covers up the real person, rather than live freely as who they honestly are.

I am a gay man that took many, many years to come to grips with who I really am. I did everything I could to not be gay: play sports; be Mr. Macho; marry and raise a family; get deeper into religion and prepare for the ministry; and pretending to be as straight as they come. This was not a conscious decision on my part, but all the proceeding behaviors would certainly make me straight, and push my gayness out of me. It wasn't until I divorced, being gay not the reason for this, that I finally, after years of hiding from myself, discovered who I really was! It was only then that I came out of the closet; to myself and to everyone around me! And I will never, never, never, go back into that closet no matter what it costs me!

My goal is that every gay person come to grips with who he/she is sooner than I did. Nobody can come out until he/she is ready. And it is nobody else's job to out anyone. But if I can help one person find themselves, I have accomplished my goal. I applaud those gay men and women who, at an early age, realized who they are, but many, like me, continue to try find ways to make themselves straight. And guess what? You're gay because that's how God made you! There is absolutely nothing you can do to make yourself straight! You can try all you want, but fact is, if you're gay, you're gay! Not a damn thing you can do to change that! So, embrace your gayness and be proud of who you are. And society, instead of trying to squish the individual, should begin encouraging kids and adults to be who they were created to be!


Zelda Parker said...

"Authenticity" is the goal, wherever it leads.

PaxRomano said...



But I think some people should be outed...namely politicians who use their office and inbred homophobia and self loathing to make the road more difficult for the rest of us. Those bastards need to be dragged out kicking and screaming.

I often puzzle over how a gay boy or lesbian girl has the guts to take their boyfriend or girlfriend to a prom, rising all kinds of griefs, but people of power will hind behind a mask because they are afraid to 'risk' their public lives.

Lily-livered cowards the whole lot of them!

Karl said...

It's because of the risk involved! Also, those kids have not become what the adults have become partly because of society's disallowance for diversity.

Jake said...

Hey Karl how's it going? I linked here via Pax's blog and enjoyed your comments on how our society shapes our actions. However I have to disagree (respectfully, doncha know) regarding certain comments. Those individuals who go into public service (read politics) or the world of entertainment (read any number of closeted actors) make their decisions not so much because they are forced to by the way society treats them, but for reasons of ego, power, or money. I have next to no respect for someone like McGreevy who admits that he spoke against gay marriage because he wanted to make a statement about his own sexuality. And I have even less respect for Foley who uses his power to seduce impressionable yutes (common New Jersey pronounciation for Pax's sake) The bastards need to be outed. Think how McGreevy screwed up his wife and kids to satisfy his own ego. Society didn't have anything to do with that. Hey, Karl I'm glad to find another blog to fill my empty days! Love ya, Jake

Karl said...

Hate to disagree with any reader, Jake, but it IS society that created the McGreevey's and Foley's. (I am certainly not saying ego and other issues did not also play a part). If men and women were encouraged by society to be who they are and live as they NATURALLY are made, they wouldn't have to find ways, some very inappropriate, to hide the true them. It is partly, and I am not saying entirely, society's fault. Let's say McGreevey could have as a younger man, through acceptance and encouragement, embraced who he really was, perhaps he would not have felt a need to be what he turned out to be as a result of his desire to "cover up" or "make better" the real him. (And believe me, I think anybody who stands on a pulpit preaching against something, should be outed when they are proven to be hypocrits themselves).

Jake said...

Karl, I think we agree more than we disagree. Foley is a bad example for either of us to use, as what he was doing (if he was) is against the law and as we all know Pedofiles (sp?) are just that, it doesn't matter if they are straight or gay. But McGreevy got just what he deserved. He stood tall and proud and came out against gay marriage when he himself knew he was gay. He fucked up his wife and kids by marrying. Not for love but to provide himself with a nice little beard. He could have stayed single. There are several (granted not many) gay men and women who have been out and still served in Congress or as governors, or in local politics. He could also have directed that need for power by entering corporate America. More opportunities all the time. Any way as I started with I think that we agree more than we disagree. I too wish that I could wave my wand (wasn't I waving it last night???) and make America as tolerant as other countries but that probably won't happen for a long time, if at all. *sigh*. Best to you all from the Windy City.

Merci said...

Well written, Karl, and a beautiful goal. We've become so harsh with each other in American culture. It would be nice if we could all learn to respect each other and show some understanding of our different paths through life.

Karl said...

America truly is one of the most sexually repressed society's in the "modern" world. The US needs to be more like some of the European countries and less like the facist Middle Eastern countries that we so desperately try to change to our ways.