Praise the Lord and pass the potato chips! The (dis)honorable Ted Haggard is now healed and he is completely HETEROSEXUAL! Remember Ted? He's the minister that was having the affair with the male prostitute that outted him just before the November election. "He (Haggard) is completely heterosexual," the Rev. Tim Ralph of Lakespur told the Denver Post. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing." Well thank God for that! It was only the "acting-out situations where things took place." Whatever the hell that means! Oh! He was only "acting-out" his homosexuality! I think I get it. And besides, Haggard only "acted-out" with the male prostitute and no other men! BIG B.S.!!! I don't believe any of it, but one thing I can say: I am glad he plays for the "other" team now because the other team can have him!